Tips for dealing with Homesickness

Starting my first year of university in September was hugely daunting for me, and as I've said in a previous blog post, I struggled a lot with homesickness. So coming towards the end of my first year, I thought I'd share my top tips for dealing with missing home; although I'm scared I'll still face homesickness in my second year, and I still can't see myself going weeks at a time without seeing my family - I'm trying to feel positive that even if it takes a trip home every weekend, I'll be able to do it; with the support of my family and friends (from home and uni).

My first tip is to surround yourself with people. I was constantly (and still do) sitting in my flatmates rooms and having a chat with them; or if they were busy I'd go to uni instead and sit in the cafeteria or library until someone was around that I could hang out with or I had a lecture. As time progressed I also discovered keeping in contact with my family a lot and my friends from home made me feel a lot less lonely. Even if I was just texting a friend from home or one of my sisters. I also found face time really handy. I'm quite lucky that one of my sisters is home a lot so the first thing I do, even now, is call or face time her as soon as I wake up in the morning. It might sound excessive to some people but for me, it works. I'm use to being surrounded by people and noise at home so to go from that to silence (most of the time) it was a big adjustment - especially at first anyway. Thus, having a bit of company when I'm doing my make up or having my breakfast helped a lot more than you'd ever think it would. Some people say you need to cut yourself off from your family for a week or so, so you can adjust to not speaking or seeing them everyday, but honestly at that point, I couldn't think of anything worse than not speaking to my family for a week; knowing I was able to speak to them everyday helped me a lot more than cutting them off ever would've.

My second tip is to go and explore this new place that you're lucky enough to now live in. I admit I didn't do enough of this when I moved away, mostly because I got it into my head that I absolutely hated where I'd decided to go to uni (and to be honest I still struggle with the place now). But I really feel this is a good idea. It can be scary exploring alone at first so drag along one of your course mates or flat mates and find some new things to do - some restaurants you could go out to eat one night, some cute cafes for lunch, a pretty park you could have a wander about in, the main social areas - bars, clubs, the cinema, bowling - the list goes on. Find a few things that perhaps you do at home with your family and could do with your roommates too - it could be something new for them to experience. We have a range of dessert shops that me and my friends love visiting when I'm at uni - we don't go there REALLY often but it's something we enjoy doing together. We go out for food or drinks quite a lot or in my first semester we had "take out Mondays" little group things like that, that seem small, really made a huge difference to helping me get through our first semester.

My third tip is to give yourself time. If you're feeling homesick that's probably the last thing in the world you want to hear; I wanted to be ok straight away and just get on with my uni life rather than missing home and feeling sad and down. But realistically that's not going to happen. I constantly got told to give myself till Christmas which felt like, honest to God, years away, rather than a couple of months. So I know me saying "give yourself time" is probably making you feel worse than better but honestly, it's the best thing you could give yourself right now. Through all the things you're probably feeling right now, you need to allow yourself time to adjust to this new place and the new people around you. You need to get yourself into a new routine and try to stick to it. Once you start lectures it's a lot easier as you already have a set routine that you have to stick to regardless. Even if you want to give up immediately as I did, don't take the decision lightly. Speak to the support centre at your uni or students union, they'll have more information they can give you on your options. Also talk to your parents and siblings or even friends who are at uni or have just moved to uni; there's loads of people around that can give you advice and support you through the decision you have to make. Think about the future too; you don't want to look back and regret your decision and wish you'd stayed to give it more of a chance. But saying that, your priority is making sure you are happy. Honestly, at the start of the year I felt like I was going to make myself seriously ill by continuing my time away from home. But by talking to the student union and my parents we managed to find a solution and from then on something clicked in me and I began to enjoy my time more. Obviously University isn't for everyone, and if you feel like there's no light at the end of the tunnel then do consider your options to move back home or do something else. University isn't for everyone and even if your new flatmates are coping just fine that doesn't mean it's not ok to feel the way you're feeling. It's perfectly legible to feel homesick more people than you think are going through it or have been through it.

I was very, very, lucky to only have to spend a few days at uni each week. My lectures were on 3 consistent days so I managed to spend the rest of my time at home as I only live an hours train ride away. I honestly don't think I would've managed to cope until (even) Christmas at uni if I didn't get to go home every few days. You know I was saying about that solution that made me start to enjoy uni more? Well that was it - spending 3 days away at uni and the rest of the time at home. I know most people aren't lucky enough to be able to do that. And some people may think it's caused more damage than good - I mean how will I adjust when I can't go home all the time next year - right? Well I'll just cross that bridge when I come to it. And I do still have my worries for next year, but I'm sure living with all the people I want to live with, will help greatly. My main advice is to just appreciate the time you do get to spend with your family and friends when you visit home - that's the best thing you can do.

I hope some of these things help you if you are struggling with homesickness. I am always around to talk to, as someone who can understand how you're feeling and what you're going through. But remember your friends, family and uni are there to talk to as well. Everyone just wants to support and help you through your time at University, and try to make it enjoyable for you.

Googling homesickness brings up so many results, and I hugely recommend reading up on how other people have dealt with home sickness, some ideas may work for you and some may not but it's definitely worth it, and if anything it helped me feel less alone whilst I was experiencing it.

If you ever want to chat check out my Contact page or my main social media links are:

Twitter: @Alicestephens_
Facebook: MiniStephens
Email: alicemstephens97@gmail.com

"Do something today that your future self will thank you for"

Until next time,

Alice x

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2016

I think we can all agree 2016 has definitely had its bad moments, from the deaths of David Bowie, Gene Wilder and Alan Rickman to the most recent deaths of George Michael, Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds; it's safe to say the world has lost some incredibly inspirational icons this year, to only name a few of them. Yes millions of people die each year, it's a part of life that is the most evil, but when icons such as these die, it effects not only those close to them but people across the world who have been inspired by, found escapism in, or have simply enjoyed the work of these individuals. My mum told me earlier that we've lost over 40 celebrities this year, and although only a few blew up on social media or were featured massively on the news, each one effected a different age demographic and a different audience. For me, the death of Alan Rickman was the one that impacted my emotions the most, I grew up watching him in films such as Harry Potter and Love Actually, so to hear about his death was for me, incredibly heartbreaking. Although the deaths of these well known icons effected the entire world, we all have our own personal goods and bad's to the year too. For me, I faced one of my biggest challenges yet. 

I knew moving out of home to go to university wouldn't be an easy change, however I didn't anticipate how much I would struggle in my first few weeks either. As September crept closer, and the closer I got to moving to Wolverhampton, the sense of dread I felt just kept building up. I remember staying overnight with Paige in my new room a week or so before I moved in permanently and I popped into my room, leaving Paige in the kitchen and I came back almost in tears (I'm not sure Paige realised at the time) and it was just the thought of being left alone in Wolverhampton, not knowing anyone or anything, that just made me want to break down and cry, and for my first week there, I did. I don't think I've very faced anything so difficult in my entire 19 years. I knew I'd get a bit homesick due to being such a family orientated person, but I think everyone, not just me, were shocked at the degree to which I struggled in my first few weeks at uni. To be honest, I'm not a great person for change anyway, when I moved from GCSE to A-level I hated the difference in classes and routine, but it was one I soon got use to. But this was completely different, I didn't have my usual friends around me, or the teachers I had known for 5 years already, instead I had 5 flatmates I didn't know, lecturers that I knew I'd never get to know directly and I wasn't going home to my parents and sisters every night. Of course everyone adjusts to change in the end, even if it doesn't seem like you will in the beginning. I hugely considered dropping out in my first week and when I found out it wasn't financially possible I got even more upset. However, I found my ways of coping. I only stay at uni 3 days a week and whilst I am there I always ensure I'm in company or on FaceTime. I makes being there more bearable and I've even come to enjoy my bit of independence for the time I am there for. My friends I've made make being there worthwhile, and although we've only known each other a few months it's weird the bond you get living and studying with complete strangers, and now I don't know what I'd do without them.

Even though the past few months were a huge struggle for me, there have been some upsides to 2016 too. Before moving to university I had an incredible gap year, although it was only planned for me to work throughout it I tried to take every opportunity I had to do something different or fun. In the summer, me, Paige and Meg ensured we had the most incredible time; trying to fit in whatever we could, whether it be a meal out together or a day trip to Weston-super-mare, we all made some amazing memories that have made us stronger as friends and have helped us build an even better friendship. Although the few bits and bobs we did doesn't sound like much you don't need a lot of money to make a lot of memories - we had fun going shopping, and to London for the weekend without spending hundreds of pounds. 

Another highlight of my year had to be my family holiday to Mousehole, its a small place in Cornwall which is just incredibly beautiful and peaceful. You can read about that in my previous blog post here. My 19th birthday was also one of my favourite things about 2016, my family and I visited Cotswold wildlife park where I got to see my favourite animals (giraffes) in the close up, as well as various other animals, I most of all enjoyed spending the day with the people I love the most. And most recently - Christmas - I didn't expect much of Christmas again this year due to working in retail and although I wasn't feeling much Christmas spirit, I really did have a magical time. Me and my family lazed around, opened presents, had Christmas dinner - but most importantly we spent time together. And seeing my extended family on boxing day - my aunts, uncles and cousins is my favourite thing about Christmas, it's all about spending time with the ones you love and appreciating everyone around you. 

Every year has its ups and downs and although this year has been tougher than most it's also had its huge ups. And everything's about balance, you have to have bad to weigh out the good and you have to have good to weigh out the bad. The most important thing to me this year (and every year) was spending time with my loved ones, without their support when I moved to uni and their continuous love now I don't know where I'd be. All my good memories involve my family and friends too - it's not all about what the cost is - it's about making fun and loving memories that'll last forever.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

Until Next Time, 

Alice x

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My Holiday To Mousehole

As soon as we arrived in Mousehole (pronounced Maw-zole) we instantly new why it was called "Mousehole". The streets were only big enough to fit one car down (and even that was stretch sometimes) and on numerous occasions - specifically a couple of memorable encounters that immediately spring to mind (that both happened on the same patch of road) - where we met an oncoming car and we struggled (as did the other car) to manoeuvre around each other so we were just millimetres from the side of the houses that lined the road. A lot of reversing was involved, as was a (sort of) stare-down where us and the other car would just stare at each other - both drivers getting to the point where neither of them new where they could move next in order to let the other one through. On one occasion we got the point where we just had to pull into another tiny road (where lots of pedestrians walk) just to let the other cars through - this was particularly stressful as it meant none of the pedestrians could get through whilst we were stuck where we were - meaning we had a crowd of people in front of our car and a huge line of cars driving through behind the car and we were the centre piece to it all (insert rolling eyes emoji). We did eventually get back to the house we were staying in, but it's safe to say that wasn't the last road encounter we had (but it was definitely the worst). All the other occasions meant our quite large car had to get through quite tight spaces - and every single encounter was a very "hold your breath, don't panic and shut up" situation - the amount of times my mum said "Just let your dad concentrate" was countless. Saying that though - my dad did an amazing job - he handled each encounter very well and although sometimes it took him a few minutes, he always managed to figure out exactly where to manoeuvre or how to squeeze through a really small gap. We also got quite confused with the twisting and turning roads when we first arrived - but after a few days driving down the same lanes, I got to grips with our daily route and could easily direct my dad through the main town.

Although the roads could be a bit overwhelming at times - Mousehole is undoubtedly one of the most beautiful places I've ever visited. We stayed right by the sea, with our garden wall being the sea wall and all we had to do was look out to see the sea or look down and see the waves crashing up against the stoney beach. You had to go through a gate to access our property and you instantly came to a stony path - our house was on the right of the path and our garden was on the left - so all you had to do was cross this little path and you were literally right by the sea it was incredible. Our access to the beach was also amazingly close. You went out of the gate and instantly turned right and there were some (admittedly) uneven steps that took you straight down to the rocky beach. My mum was always stood at our garden wall watching me, my sister and dad down on the beach.

The harbour had a little beach area, which was surrounded with all the little village shops, galleries and cafe's, and was only a 2/3 minute walk along the seafront away from our property, which was perfectly ideal, for our evening walks and breakfasts out in the morning. Our evening walks around the town allowed us to explore all the little houses and cottages which were hidden in all the nooks and crannies of the village. The village was a maze of sorts, perfect for the whole "the cat catching the mouse" thing - so all the streets seemed to interlink, with them twisting and turning every time you walked a few metres, it was very easy to just wander aimlessly through the village and eventually end up somewhere we recognised. The harbour was also lined with colourful lights, which were beautifully placed, so when it got dark they reflected off of the calm water. We could see the lights from our garden, however that was from a distance, so seeing them close up every evening was so incredible. Waking up, and going to bed listening to the sea, and seeing the evening lights, are definitely what I miss most about Mousehole.

We had a completely jam packed holiday, seeing "The Man Engine" in St. Just and visiting Cape Cornwall on our first day (6th August) , we also dropped into a charity craft fair at one of the local schools - it doesn't sound much but it was one of the best craft fairs we'd been to in a long time. There were at least a couple of hundred stalls, placed in various places around the senior school and they were selling a complete range of things like light pulls and notepads to locally made hanging decorations, and jewellery - I managed to find a beautiful necklace that I absolutely adore and is one of my favourite purchases from my holiday.

On the second day (7th August), we went to Lands End, which was somewhere I was really keen to go. My Grampy and Gran went there back in 1976 and my parents had visited there previously too, so it made me really excited to visit the most Southern end of the UK. The first thing we did was have our picture taken by the iconic Lands End sign - which was the main reason we were visiting there anyway and the thing we were all really keen to do. We then went to read the Lands End Story; which was really interesting as we got to read about the people who had walked from Lands End to John o'Grotes (or vice versa) and how long the journey takes in various forms of travel. We weren't really interested in doing any of the paid activites such as the 4D cinema and Arthur's quest - they were mainly aimed at children anyway - but we decided to walk down to see the craft sheds, however we were quite disappointed with the two small shops that we discovered, luckily the views from where we were, were incredible, so they really made up for the disappointment, and walking back along the cliff edge with my dad really gave us spectacular views. We then went and visited Sennen Cove - whilst we're staying near the sea we always try to visit a range of beaches whenever we can so going for our first paddle of the holiday at Sennen Cove was a really nice way of spending our afternoon and evening.

The third day (8th August) was when my dad woke me up at 6am to see the sunrise, it was absolutely incredible, and I was so determined to see the sun come up from behind the sea before we left Mousehole so to actually have the opportunity to see an orange and yellow sunrise, made me so happy (I then went back to bed). We then visited the Seal Sanctuary and although it was really cute to see the rescue seals, it wasn't worth the £15 we would've paid if we hadn't of had vouchers. It was a lovely day out, the sanctuary just didn't actually have that many seals as lot's of them had been re-released back into the wild. We then went to Poldhu beach, however we didn't stay for very long as the waves were quite rough so there were lots of surfers about, and the sun had (typically) disappeared on us; but I love visiting new beaches and paddling in the sea so even though we were only there for a short amount of time I was overjoyed. After leaving Poldhu we drove back up the road to Mullion Meadows craft centre. We'd past it on our way to the beach and spotted the Trenance Chocolate Factory so new we needed to make a stop to look around. Although the other craft shops were cute, the highlight of the centre was definitely the chocolate shop, me and my sisters spent quite a while in there looking around and choosing our chocolate (it sounds sad but trust me - this chocolate was lush).

On the fourth day (9th August), we had booked tickets to the Minack Theatre to see the Hertfordshire Players perform Nicholas Nickleby Part 1 by Charles Dickens. As we were seeing an afternoon showing of the play, we went for breakfast at a local cafe, 'Hole Foods Deli and Cafe - which was absolutely delicious, before setting off to Porthcurno. The play was absolutely incredible, we'd heard nothing but good things about this outdoor theatre, and it totally lived up to all expectations. We had super sunny weather and the view of the sea behind the stage was beautiful, we'd never seen a show anything like it, so it was a really great thing to experience and if you ever get the chance to - I couldn't recommend enough that you visit the Minack theatre. My drama teacher had mentioned it to us many times throughout my time in his class, it's one of the most famous outdoor theatres in the UK, so to finally experience a show at one the many theatres he had mentioned, was so exciting.

The fifth day (10th August), was a day of relaxing and exploring the village, we went to some of the galleries and shops in the town (that we'd previously snooped at through the windows), and then we got a takeaway lunch from the 'Hole foods cafe and travelled to Lynfield Craft Centre in Perranuthnoe (as you can tell we're a very crafty family) which was only small, but it had a lot of variety, and loads of different items on sale. It was lovely to spend a day which was really relaxed and chilled where we didn't have to rush around to do anything or have any set in stone plans.

On our final day in Moushole we visited St. Michaels Mount. We took the boat across from Marazion and me, dad and my sister, Katie, bought tickets to walk up to the castle, whilst my mum and my other sister, Emma waited on the ground and browsed the few shops that were there. The views from the castle and the terraces were absolutely stunning, it was definitely worth the steep walk up to the top. It was also quite interesting to read about the history of the building and the family that live there now. A nice personal touch was that the visitors leaflet was written in 1st person, from the point of view of one of the family members that currently live in the house, he spoke about his experiences and memories of different rooms and artefacts, from when he was a child and from present time, and it made reading through the leaflet a lot more interesting than it would've been if it was a generic visitors guide. After coming down from the Mount we met up with the other Stephens' clan and went for lunch in the Michael's Mount restaurant before browsing the shops and waiting for the Causeway to open up so we could walk along the cobbled path to return to the mainland.  



After packing up the car, browsing a few more shops, and visiting 'Hole Foods one last time for Coffee and Cake, we left Mousehole was sad, but fond smiles on our faces. On our way home we stopped off at The Eden Project, where there are two biomes. These hold plants that are collected from a diverse range of climates and environments. We visited the Rainforest Biome first, the bigger of the two biomes and definitely the hotter one, at some points whilst walking through I thought I'd have to leave due to overheating, but I'm so glad it didn't come to that. It was incredible to see the different plants that we'd never normally be able to see in the UK due to our climate. and witness/understand how some of the unusual plants grow and develop. There were some incredibly beautiful plants, and some more unattractive ones too - but nevertheless they were all interesting to see. The only thing we were disappointed in was that me and my dad weren't able to do the canopy walk up in the tree tops. Although I was incredibly warm by this point it was still something I wanted to experience, unfortunately the temperature was rising and it got so high it was unsafe for anyone to be going up to the top of the Biome. This all happened as we got to the back of the line - and as the line was quite long, we didn't want to risk being the ones that couldn't cope with the humid temperature that was constantly rising. I felt worse for my dad - although I would've liked to do it, I had got so warm that I wasn't overly heartbroken that we weren't allowed to - but I could tell it was something he would've really liked to do and although he's good at brushing off that sort of thing, I felt really bad for him that we were so close to doing it but just missed the opportunity. Anyway, after leaving the Rainforest Biome we stopped for a toilet and ice cream break in order to cool down, and then we entered the Mediterranean Biome, which was a lot cooler than the previous biome but I also didn't find it as interesting - although there were still some really cool and different plants and sculptures in the biome, to me, it didn't have the "wow" factor that the rainforest biome had given me.

Overall, I had an incredible holiday. Cornwall is such a beautiful place and I can see why it's such a huge tourist attraction each year. I would return in the bat of an eye-lid if I could. If you're ever looking for somewhere to holiday, Mousehole is amazing - although it's a tiny village and can get busy in the day - it doesn't matter as the experience of staying there is still incredible and the quiet evenings are so peaceful, it's amazing.

"It's the memories you make and the people you're with that make the holiday special - the destination is just a plus"

Until Next Time,

Alice x

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The Tooth Brush With A Cap

Me and my family have been using Oral B electronic toothbrushes for many years, so when I heard about an opportunity involving Sonic Chic, a travel electric toothbrush, I thought it would be a good chance to try a portable brush, that I can carry around with me to sleepovers, weekends away and holidays, something that's better quality than a regular toothbrush but isn't too big or bulky.

I received my Sonic Chic toothbrush a few weeks ago now, but in-between everything else I've only just gained the chance to try it out and review it. I wasn't really sure how to use the brush - even though the instructions tell you how to un-cap it and what to do after use - I was more confused with whether I was meant to let the brush sit on each tooth individually whilst it vibrated  (similar to what you do with an Oral B one) or whether you were meant to brush your teeth the regular way, like you do with a manual brush. But after testing both theories and the vibrations getting slightly out of hand when I cleaned my teeth the regular way - I eventually decided to just move the brush around slowly, so I was cleaning all teeth but the vibrations weren't uncomfortable on my teeth and the brush wasn't going into overdrive.

I found the brush ok - not as good as the more expensive Oral B one - but what can you expect from a portable toothbrush? My teeth felt clean after brushing - as they should do - and probably more so than when you clean with a manual brush.

It's not a toothbrush I'd want to use everyday as it's not the most comfortable experience, however as a holiday toothbrush - and having minimal use of it - I'd say the pricing of £20 in Boots, isn't too costly for the ok quality of the brush. However, if you're looking for an everyday electronic toothbrush I'd probably recommend a higher market product - as even though they're more expensive your teeth will probably get a better brush.

I love the pattern on the brush as well - there are various patterns you can choose from when you buy the brush, which I think is great as it makes the brush bright and exciting to use. Although I got sent this geometric pattern one by chance - I love the colours in it and it's a pattern I would've chosen myself if I'd had the chance. It's great that it comes in different styles - especially if children are going to be using it as it'll make them more excited to brush their teeth.

I'll definitely continue to use the Sonic Chic, travel toothbrush when I go to sleepovers or nights away as it'll save me carrying around my slightly bulkier normal electric toothbrush, and it'll give my teeth a better clean than I'd normally get with a manual toothbrush.

Have you checked out the Sonic Chic Electric Toothbrush? If so how did you get on with it?

"A healthy smile, is a beautiful smile"

Until Next Time,

Alice x

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