Tips for dealing with Homesickness

Starting my first year of university in September was hugely daunting for me, and as I've said in a previous blog post, I struggled a lot with homesickness. So coming towards the end of my first year, I thought I'd share my top tips for dealing with missing home; although I'm scared I'll still face homesickness in my second year, and I still can't see myself going weeks at a time without seeing my family - I'm trying to feel positive that even if it takes a trip home every weekend, I'll be able to do it; with the support of my family and friends (from home and uni).

My first tip is to surround yourself with people. I was constantly (and still do) sitting in my flatmates rooms and having a chat with them; or if they were busy I'd go to uni instead and sit in the cafeteria or library until someone was around that I could hang out with or I had a lecture. As time progressed I also discovered keeping in contact with my family a lot and my friends from home made me feel a lot less lonely. Even if I was just texting a friend from home or one of my sisters. I also found face time really handy. I'm quite lucky that one of my sisters is home a lot so the first thing I do, even now, is call or face time her as soon as I wake up in the morning. It might sound excessive to some people but for me, it works. I'm use to being surrounded by people and noise at home so to go from that to silence (most of the time) it was a big adjustment - especially at first anyway. Thus, having a bit of company when I'm doing my make up or having my breakfast helped a lot more than you'd ever think it would. Some people say you need to cut yourself off from your family for a week or so, so you can adjust to not speaking or seeing them everyday, but honestly at that point, I couldn't think of anything worse than not speaking to my family for a week; knowing I was able to speak to them everyday helped me a lot more than cutting them off ever would've.

My second tip is to go and explore this new place that you're lucky enough to now live in. I admit I didn't do enough of this when I moved away, mostly because I got it into my head that I absolutely hated where I'd decided to go to uni (and to be honest I still struggle with the place now). But I really feel this is a good idea. It can be scary exploring alone at first so drag along one of your course mates or flat mates and find some new things to do - some restaurants you could go out to eat one night, some cute cafes for lunch, a pretty park you could have a wander about in, the main social areas - bars, clubs, the cinema, bowling - the list goes on. Find a few things that perhaps you do at home with your family and could do with your roommates too - it could be something new for them to experience. We have a range of dessert shops that me and my friends love visiting when I'm at uni - we don't go there REALLY often but it's something we enjoy doing together. We go out for food or drinks quite a lot or in my first semester we had "take out Mondays" little group things like that, that seem small, really made a huge difference to helping me get through our first semester.

My third tip is to give yourself time. If you're feeling homesick that's probably the last thing in the world you want to hear; I wanted to be ok straight away and just get on with my uni life rather than missing home and feeling sad and down. But realistically that's not going to happen. I constantly got told to give myself till Christmas which felt like, honest to God, years away, rather than a couple of months. So I know me saying "give yourself time" is probably making you feel worse than better but honestly, it's the best thing you could give yourself right now. Through all the things you're probably feeling right now, you need to allow yourself time to adjust to this new place and the new people around you. You need to get yourself into a new routine and try to stick to it. Once you start lectures it's a lot easier as you already have a set routine that you have to stick to regardless. Even if you want to give up immediately as I did, don't take the decision lightly. Speak to the support centre at your uni or students union, they'll have more information they can give you on your options. Also talk to your parents and siblings or even friends who are at uni or have just moved to uni; there's loads of people around that can give you advice and support you through the decision you have to make. Think about the future too; you don't want to look back and regret your decision and wish you'd stayed to give it more of a chance. But saying that, your priority is making sure you are happy. Honestly, at the start of the year I felt like I was going to make myself seriously ill by continuing my time away from home. But by talking to the student union and my parents we managed to find a solution and from then on something clicked in me and I began to enjoy my time more. Obviously University isn't for everyone, and if you feel like there's no light at the end of the tunnel then do consider your options to move back home or do something else. University isn't for everyone and even if your new flatmates are coping just fine that doesn't mean it's not ok to feel the way you're feeling. It's perfectly legible to feel homesick more people than you think are going through it or have been through it.

I was very, very, lucky to only have to spend a few days at uni each week. My lectures were on 3 consistent days so I managed to spend the rest of my time at home as I only live an hours train ride away. I honestly don't think I would've managed to cope until (even) Christmas at uni if I didn't get to go home every few days. You know I was saying about that solution that made me start to enjoy uni more? Well that was it - spending 3 days away at uni and the rest of the time at home. I know most people aren't lucky enough to be able to do that. And some people may think it's caused more damage than good - I mean how will I adjust when I can't go home all the time next year - right? Well I'll just cross that bridge when I come to it. And I do still have my worries for next year, but I'm sure living with all the people I want to live with, will help greatly. My main advice is to just appreciate the time you do get to spend with your family and friends when you visit home - that's the best thing you can do.

I hope some of these things help you if you are struggling with homesickness. I am always around to talk to, as someone who can understand how you're feeling and what you're going through. But remember your friends, family and uni are there to talk to as well. Everyone just wants to support and help you through your time at University, and try to make it enjoyable for you.

Googling homesickness brings up so many results, and I hugely recommend reading up on how other people have dealt with home sickness, some ideas may work for you and some may not but it's definitely worth it, and if anything it helped me feel less alone whilst I was experiencing it.

If you ever want to chat check out my Contact page or my main social media links are:

Twitter: @Alicestephens_
Facebook: MiniStephens
Email: alicemstephens97@gmail.com

"Do something today that your future self will thank you for"

Until next time,

Alice x

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G - Going to University

Moving to University in September is going to be a big step for me. Leaving home, moving to a brand new place, meeting brand new people. However, as my moving date gets closer, I'm getting more and more excited about moving. Of course I'm nervous as well. I know I'm going to get horrifically home sick and miss my parents to no end, but I also know the move will be good for me. I've always been really close to my family, so I know becoming a bit more independent will be a good step for me. It'll make me grow up and I know living alone will really teach me to look after myself properly.

My mum has been teaching me to cook and clean for myself, over the course of this year. Starting with homemade recipes she normally cooks for me and my family on a weekday, I've learnt Spaghetti Bolognese, Salmon, Chicken Wrapped In Bacon and also how to cook New Potatoes and vegetables, so I can eat healthily with recipes that aren't too difficult to learn. My sister has also been teaching me how to do the washing so I won't take look at a machine when I get to Uni and end up putting my clothes on the wrong wash (which would've happened this time last year). Because I've had time to learn all these small things which will make my life easier in September, I'm actually glad I got the chance to take a gap year. I now realise I wasn't at all ready to go to uni last year, I wasn't prepared in terms of looking after myself and I definitely wasn't ready to leave home. So taking the year out to save some money, and spend time with my family has really helped me become more excited for uni rather than terrified.

I've already joined a couple of facebook groups for my university. I thought getting a head start on finding people from my course and talking to people going to the same uni as me - whether I'll actually bump into them when we get there or not - just talking to a few people that will be starting at the same time as me has already made me feel a bit more confident in meeting new people once I arrive.

I think going to my acting auditions last year has also given me an advantage over most people moving to uni. When we were at our auditions everyone was talking to each and being friendly, nobody new each other, but we were all in the same situation. We could sit in silence not talking and make the day really boring and un-enjoyable, or we could talk, have a laugh, get to know each other and make the experience fun. After only a few hours at each audition, I even came out with a couple of friends who I even keep in contact with on the odd occasion now. It just goes to show how quickly and easy it is to meet and bond with new people. On the first day of uni, it's not like you're the new kid in a class full of old students, you're all in the same boat with the fact nobody knows who anyone else is. So I know when I first meet my room mates or my course mates I just need to be confident in talking to new people, being friendly and being myself.

If you have any advice for moving to uni let me know in the comments!

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so difficult"

Until tomorrow,

Alice x

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D - Drama

For about four years drama and acting were a big part of my life. In year 9 I took a liking to the subject and was determined I wanted to be an actor but by the end of year 13 I knew that I didn't have the mindset or confidence that was needed to enter such a difficult and brutal industry.

I decided to take Drama as one of my GCSE options and in year 10 and 11 it was my favourite subject. Being able to make these characters that were previously just written on paper become alive, with a background story and different attributes just made all the rehearsals and hard work worth while. I always remember the first few times I performed, I was so nervous about getting up in front of my class and having all these eyes watching me, but by the end of year 10 it became second nature to me. Of course getting anxious before a performance exam was a given, but gradually I got to the point where performing in front of my class didn't really phase me, and rehearsing and performing my GCSE exam piece "Cage Birds" was probably the highlight of my whole Acting experience. We put so much hard work into the play, using a lot of our free time to go into the drama studio and improve different little aspects of our play to ensure we would perform our final exam to the best of our ability.

"JUST"

For AS drama and theatre studies, we had to perform a monologue. When I first found out we had to perform on stage alone as part of our exam I freaked out big time, but so did a lot of other people on my course. I'd never performed by myself before, with no one else on stage with me to help boost my confidence so it was real test of how confident I had become in myself and how much I had actually developed as an actor. It was also difficult planning and creating this whole character alone, with no group around you to help develop your ideas. But I'm glad I didn't just leave at the first hurdle, that I carried on and completed the performance, as feeling proud of myself after our exam was one of the best feelings. We also did a group performance in year 12 and performing "JUST" was definitely an experience. Three of us had to speak in sync for most of our lines and it was quite stressful trying to portray three individual characters as well as one combined character, however, the experience was also fun as we got to create these really creepy and unusual costumes/makeup for our characters.

A2 was a totally different story to my previous years of studying Drama, as we had to devise a group piece. I personally struggled to devise and contribute any ideas to the group, and I felt kind of useless when the other members of my group were coming up with these amazing ideas each lesson when I could barely create one idea a week. Devising a piece was stressful for all of us, we new the plot we wanted to lead but we couldn't figure out a way to portray it, so we kept coming up with ideas but then changing them when we realised they just didn't fit in. By our tech and dress rehearsal we were still a bit of mess, and when we found out how confusing we'd made our story by not explaining it properly, we realised we really needed to knuckle down in the next few days to be able to pull off a decent performance. We added physical theatre to create more effective scenes and we improved our lines so they actually helped explain what was going on. Which I'm glad to say all paid off in the end.

Monologue Costume!

After deciding to apply for acting at university and attending all the auditions, I received a conditional offer on an acting course. I was so proud of myself that I'd actually managed to get a place on my dream course. Except I didn't know whether to accept the place or not. All the heartbreak I went through after getting rejected from the 3 other uni's I'd applied to, I just didn't know if I'd ever be able to hack the whole "you got rejected now move onto the next one" I felt like every rejection just meant I wasn't good enough; although everyone was telling me all these stories of famous people who had been rejected at the start of their careers, and I wanted to believe that I could do well in the industry, I  just knew that I didn't have the self belief or mindset that was needed and because I didn't have either of those things I was loosing my motivation to continue performing, although I loved it. In the end I did reject my offer, and I have decided to pursue Media at university instead.

I hope you've enjoyed reading a little insight into my Drama experiences.

"One of the best things about acting, is that it allow you to live other peoples lives without having to pay the price"

Until tomorrow,

Alice x

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C - Cooking

As I'm going to Uni in September my mum has been slowly teaching me to cook a few different recipes to ensure I can actually feed myself some decent things and I won't just live off of pot noodles - So I thought I'd share one of these recipes with you as I found them really quick and easy to learn and I think they're good starter recipes when you're learning to cook too!

Chicken Wrapped In Bacon:

I am going to explain this recipe as if you are cooking for one person however if you are cooking for more than one then just multiple the quantities by however many you're cooking for.

Ingredients:

1 Chicken Breast (use one chicken breast per person)
2 Strips of Bacon
New Potatoes
Broccoli

Method:

1) Set the oven between 180-200 degrees and place the foil on the baking tray and put the chicken breast on top of the foil
2) Wrap the chicken breast in the two pieces of bacon and then wrap the foil over the chicken breast and ensure it is fully covered
3) Prepare the Broccoli by cutting off the amount of pieces you want before washing it under cold water. Fill the saucepan with around half a pan of cold water and place the broccoli into the pan, placing the lid on top.
4) Prepare the new potatoes by choosing how many you want, washing them and placing them into a pan - fill the pan with cold water ensuring the water covers the potatoes completely
5) Place the lids on top of broccoli and the new potato saucepans and place the pans onto the hob.
6) Put the tray with the chicken breast into the oven and cook it for 25 minutes. In the last 5 minutes take the chicken out of the oven and open the foil so the chicken and bacon get direct heat - this will make the bacon more crispy.
7) At the same time turn on both of the hobs - which have the broccoli and potatoes on - onto full so the water comes up to the boil. Once the water is boiling turn the hobs down to half so the broccoli and potatoes simmer for the remaining time.
8) Once the 25 minutes are up remove the chicken from the oven and check it is cooked by poking the chicken with a knife and then pressing down - if it is cooked all the juices should be clear, if it isn't cooked put the chicken back into the oven and cook until the juices are clear
9) Serve up and enjoy!

If you don't like new potatoes maybe try switching them out for chips or roast potatoes. And salad or carrots can be a good alternative if you dislike broccoli. I hope you find this recipe easy to follow and it gives you a kick start to cooking more home made meals!

"One cannot, think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well"

Until Tomorrow,

Alice x

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